Do you remember when you had your first beers?

Well, Barry Ferguson certainly will, as it seems he cracked a cold one open and got rather inebriated before writing his Daily Record piece.

In the column, Ferguson ‘gets real’ with everybody on the face the Ibrox club can’t afford a pot to p*** in. However, the moonbeams are quick to follow – have a read at this.

Without being disrespectful to some of the previous managers at Ibrox, if Rangers had picked up the phone to a Defoe, Martin Skrtel, Lucas Leiva or even a young talent like Dominic Solanke over the last few years it would have been a pretty quick conversation.

“What’s that? You want me to move to Glasgow? Not today thanks mate.” Phone down.

But when the man on the other end of the line is a someone of the calibre and standing of Gerrard you have no choice but to hear him out. His name alone demands it.

It’s a conversation that would excite the vast majority of players in Britain right now.

So some top young players and some old has-beens are about to drop everything they’re doing and play for pennies in the Steven Gerrard revolution.

What does this guy smoke?

Why did they just go out and sign Alan McGregor when Joe Hart is wandering about without a proper home?

Why did they just sign Scott Arfield when Patrick Roberts is heading back to Man City this summer.

It’s columns like Ferguson who prop up the window lickers on social media who come at us every season with the going for 55 tripe.

No attempt to try and live within their means and slowly build up to a title defence, they want it and they want it now.

They will fail and we will laugh.

Stay off the sauce Barry bhoy!